Meet Tobi Beck TAB//Art

Can you tell us how you got your start?

Stress and despair! :) No, really! My wife and I were going through a particularly difficult time acclimating to parenting my 8 year old nephew a bit into the transition of him coming to live with us. We were relatively new in our relationship and this was a huge undertaking that required many therapists, specialists, and lots of change. I was working a full-time, middle-management job at the time and was under an exorbitant amount of stress there and at home. Have you ever had one of those end-of-your-rope, you’ve tried all the talking and prayers and breathing and coping things, and there are simply NO MORE TRICKS up your sleeve moments of despair? This all seems like such a simplification of what was really going on, but it was that kind of debilitating chaos. 

One night back in 2014, I lost it. I was alone in my room after a particularly difficult evening. It was dark and I was just sobbing everything out in a mess of hyperventilation and tears - the really ugly kind of crying. I was at a complete loss and out of nowhere, this wild energy came up and it was like my body was moving without me. I found myself grabbing for random things - a tv tray, a stack of scrapbook paper, paints, scrapers, and brushes. The next moments are all a blur as I literally pushed all the energy into painting these feelings.

Everything came out. It was fast, deeply emotional, and wildly expressive. Truly, it was maniacal and not far off from what you’d watch in a dark film as someone legit goes crazy. Haha I painted square after square - the papers were 12x12” and each became a scraping and smudging of the stress and feelings I carried around every day.

This experience was not only incredibly cathartic, but really surprising because I had never painted before, aside from some furniture in my teens (peace signs and cow print - hello 90’s) and some school projects for compositional study when I attended FIDM in my 20’s for Visual Communications. 

I ended up with 45 paintings. I only just released them on my website shortly before the pandemic hit. I love that there are pieces living on in my collector’s homes and life stories, some all the way in Copenhagen! I’ll have the collection at the show along with newer bodies of work.

That is incredible, so glad you found a way to release those feelings. So what inspires you to create now?
Freedom. Letting go. The state of being. Whatever you are right now, fully accepting that in its most peaceful, purest state. Feeling. Being boundless. Photos of people doing yoga on a cliff. Dancers floating and moving their bodies like water figures so open and uninhibited. Space. Not literal stars, but space to be - that kind of expansion where there are no limits and anything is possible. Musicians lost in melody. Lyrics to a favorite song. People in their elements of passion - enthralled with the process of becoming and stepping outside of themselves. Seeing others tap into that energy. Being totally untethered. That’s the juice. 

Love that. Do you have a favorite part of the maker process?

Having no plan when I sit down to create. It’s so pure and freeing. I struggle with anxiety and perfectionism; always looking for the “right” and “should” answers out of fear of being wrong. A lot of self-doubt comes with that.  A lot of second-guessing. That internal spinning is chaotic and can be pretty paralyzing. 

 Abstract painting is a space where I’m free from all that. I meet it with no plans or expectations. It’s an honest place, totally surrendered and open. It just asks me to show up and decide; to be present and willing. To listen. It’s an invitation to be seen and be known as I am, without expectation or judgment in any state of feeling I may be in. It accepts all of me. And in those moments, it teaches me to accept all of me. 

I don’t start from an idea or sketch. There is no end in mind. Just a blank canvas or paper on the table next to my trolly of tools and paints. I sit, decide to be open, and start grabbing, letting my intuition and deep love for composition lead and express. It’s a thrill to not know where I’m going. It’s like hopping in the car and driving to anywhere with nowhere to be. Wild and free. I love that.

Very therapeutic. What is a typical day like in the studio for you?

I get to paint for hours on end, uninterrupted, in total flow - LIES. :) It’s so boring. haha An artist’s life is as dull as any on the daily. There’s coffee, hot or iced - a very big decision. Then, planning. Lots of research. I have a couple of clients I work with on design, social media, and non-art-related projects that need tending to. There are task-avoidance Pinterest sessions, of course. Emails, calendar sorting, and the like. It’s “office-y” with music playing. 

When I do get to actually create, it’s very focused. Often very quiet. I paint quickly and I paint a lot in one sitting. I guess I’m more of a “session” creator. I’m also pretty neat for an abstract painter. I see artist’s on Instagram who paint so slowly and meticulously or who are the opposite and throw paint at the wall. I wouldn’t dare! I’d be so upset the room got messed up. I am a quiet little mouse when I paint, laser focused and clean; just one mark at a time and building as I go, working on the cheese. It’s a lot of brayer-rolling, smudging, rubbing, ripping, scratching, layering, and uncovering. It’s actually pretty aggressive. It probably looks like I’m just destroying something or making nothing. Like a kid. I have stacks and stacks of work. I’m kind of embarrassed by that for some reason. I feel like a hoarder. :)

Do you have a favorite piece you have created?

Ok, this is hard for an indecisive. I’m going to go with a painting that I did - it’s not quite a self-portrait, but I feel myself in it and it’s definitely a depiction of how I felt in a moment. It’s called “Franken Feelings” - a black and white abstract of a most-honest face and probably my most common feeling as a sarcastic introvert who is becoming more hermit-like and socially awkward with each passing day; so annoyed with humanity and everything always. Hahahaha it is silly, honest, and it makes me laugh so hard. It’s basically me. <Ok, it’s me.>

I’m also going to plug my tiny art collection because I love it so much!! When the pandemic kicked off, I decided to paint 100 tiny abstracts (or TABstracts as I like to call them). They are 2”x3” and 3”x3” - so small! I became obsessed with the challenge of creating smart compositions in such a tiny space. They are so cute. I love this project because I got to collaborate with my wife, Gina, for the first time in art. She custom-built all of the tiny frames out of our garage. She’s an actual rockstar and I loved getting to see her create alongside me. These will be at the show in April too, and are on my website now. These tiny pieces are pandemic-born and are such a great little punch of inspiration for tiny places, like a bookshelf, desk, nook - I meant for them to bring creativity to folks who are working from home so much more now. We need that. I saved a few for myself and we have them sprinkled all over the house. I really love them!

So cute! Do you have anything special that you will be bringing to Jackalope?

Original art, prints, stationery, and gifts. I have pieces in all sizes, from 3x3” to 18x24”. There are framed and unframed options, too. I’ll also have geometric prints available in mini 5x7” up to 16x20” - these designs are digitally created and have a mid-century modern vibe to them. Colorful and playful compositions - some of my favorites! For stationery and gifts, I’ll have hand-painted bookmarks, ornaments, cards, magnets, and other fun work to make a home artful, gritty, and cool. I’m so excited to share them all. Self-expression in a home is so important. 

Definitely, handmade brings a heart beat into a space. What did you miss most about in person events now that events are picking back up again? 

Fresh air! And creative buzzing. There is something special about the “shop local” movement these last several years. People are wildly inventive and so brave, right? There are so many amazing artisans and creators. These events are super important to keep that energy alive and thriving. Shoppers are more supportive and encouraging than ever. And they want to connect with makers directly. I love (and have missed) their excitement and cheerleading. Selling online is handy, but it’s just not the same.

Agreed! Well we can’t wait to have in Pasadena. Is there something you love most about the city?

It’s calm and small, but big enough to feel “city”. We love to shop and walk. I’m from Boston originally, so any chance we get to walk the shops with coffee and goodies while cars scurry by is a hit for me, especially when it’s old mixed with new. And Pasadena has great shops, eateries, tree-lined streets. It’s a bit story-book and artisan. It’s cool.

Any final words you would like to include?

Yes! I think it’s important to note that I am a self-taught artist. I have always been a creative, but not a painter. I did go to a form of “art school,” but it was not for fine art and I did not graduate. This is an important message because I think we need to be reminded that living a passionate life isn’t just for other people or for “the schooled.” It’s for us. It’s for you. We are all created differently with varied skills, abilities, desires, and circumstances. This world needs all of it. There is plenty of space from the streets to the classrooms. And life is incredibly short. Too short for our fears and excuses, no matter how present everyday they may be. 

Part two of my “why” story is that 2 years after I discovered painting (and was not consistently committed to it as a daily practice), I learned that I had cancer forming in my uterus. I had a total hysterectomy and needed additional surgery after that for complications. When healed up enough, I returned back to my corporate job for 6 months. Nothing was more clear to me than not wanting to spend the rest of my days puttering around doing something I hated. It wasn’t worth it. I, thankfully, had the support of my family and means to quit. And I did. 

It was and still is terrifying to be on my own, braving days as a full-time artist. But, living for something means too much to me to grind my teeth for nothing. I hope that inspires someone to be brave. To give it a try even when their knees are knocking. It’s hard. But it’s good. And supportive communities like Jackalope bring people together to inspire and be inspired. Want to make butter? Go make your life’s best butter. :) We’re totally here for it.

Also, that nephew I mentioned? He’s now 18 and we officially adopted him, finalized in 2021. This life is one wild ride. 

That makes us smile :) See you in person this April 23rd & 24th in Old Pasadena!

Where to see more of Tobi Beck:

Website | www.tobibeck.com

Instagram | @tobiannbeck